How does "no" change to "yes"???

I was looking through my archives and came across this in draft form.  It was originally written May 2010.

The work of the Holy Spirit, of course!

Here's the story...

So, I'm sitting in Mass on Good Shepherd Sunday listening to Father's homily.  This in and of itself is remarkable enough.  The two oldest boys were in the Children's Liturgy and Doodlebug wanted nothing to do with me.  He wants daddy lately, only during Mass though.  So I got to listen (should have known something was up at this point...)  And listen I did.  Well, sort of anyway.

About halfway through I hear HIM.  "Have another baby".  Plain as day.  My response was a little less than thrilled, "NO!".
In Mass.
In His church.
While listening to the words of the Holy Spirit.

I said no.
Talk about a lack of obedience.

Not one to be easily put off, He pulled out the big guns.  The Professor.

Over lunch later that day, The Professor says (looking at the crib mattress in the foyer - returned the night before by my SIL), "mommy, we should save that mattress for the next baby."

Needless to say this threw me for a loop.  Not sure how to respond, I take another bite to buy some time.  I formulate a response along the lines of "we don't know God's plans for our family, but daddy and I are praying about it and it's up to God if He wants us to have another baby."  He's only 6, so we haven't explained much about how babies come to be, nor about NFP.

Curious, I ask him, "how long have you been thinking about another baby?  Is this something you've been thinking about for a while, or only just today?"

"Today."

Input from the rest of the peanut gallery is in favor of another brother, not a sister, but specifically a brother.

I'm embarrassed to say that I was a little less than enthusiastic.  My response was to give the Lord a laundry list of things I needed Him to do before I would listen.  Great, huh?

I guess I was smart enough to put the one thing that mattered on that list though.  "If this is truly Your plan, please work on my heart."

And He did.

Slowly but steadily over the next several weeks, there came a steady thaw.  I went from "absolutely not", to "well, if it's Your will, then I guess so.  I certainly don't want to make You mad, but I'm not happy about this.", to " I want to be obedient, so OK."  to "please send us a baby.  Healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually."  (I've learned from others' misfortunes to carefully word that prayer).

So here I sit hoping that He will deliver soon.  The boys are all excited about the prospects of another boy in the house.

Updated June 3,2012

Well..."soon"  turned into a year.  He did eventually send us another son.  Healthy in all respects as asked for.  Please believe that MANY prayers of Thanksgiving have been offered up for this grace. 

In the meantime He had more plans for us.  God's plans are of course always perfect.  In fact, He got us involved in exactly that...God's Plan for a Joy Filled Marriage.  It's a program put together by Christopher West based on John Paul II Theology of the Body.  It's a marriage prep program that focuses on the sacramental rather than the secular side of marriage.  It's wonderful.  I can't say enough good things about this program.  If you have the chance to get involved, you won't regret it.  We were approached by our parish's NFP teaching couple, also good friends of ours to be presenters for it.  We've since presented it twice, once while I was quite pregnant!  Quite an impact it had too. 

BTW... the list of things that I needed Him to do...they (almost) all got done.  And in hindsight, my timing would not have been good.  His is so much better.  Oh how He loves us!

Announcing...

The arrival of William Frederick !  

I was totally amazed at:

10 pounds 4 oz.

21 inches long

born 7:57 am.

December 20, 2011

 

Welcome to the world Will!  I'm still trying to decide on a blog nick name.

Tomorrow!

Hi everyone!  Tomorrow's the big day when we welcome our newest baby boy into the family.  The C-section is scheduled for 7:30 am (Eastern time).  If anyone's awake at that time, I  would greatly appreciate your prayers.  This is my 4th and I'm a bit, OK a lot, nervous about it.  The last one wasn't all that much fun.
In Christ,
Kelly

I'll try to get pictures and stats updated ASAP, but I don't know if the hospital has wifi and I don't have an iphone.

9 more days!!!!

Ok, time to drive everyone crazy :)  We have our C-section scheduled for the morning of the 20th.  So, I only have 9 more days to go.  Actually 8 1/2 since it's getting later now.  Part of me is hugely relieved.  Part of me is a it sad. 

I can't wait to hold and snuggle and see this newest little one.  I'm sure he looks just like his brothers.  They're all clones of each other practically.  I'm anxious to move past the adhesion pain.  The hips, lower back, leg and sciatica pains have been driving me crazy lately.  And don't get me started with the bathroom trips ;)

And the questions!!!  "oh you must be having a girl" (as I go walking past with 3 boys).  "no?, well maybe the next one."  Are you going to have more?  You're having another one (complete with look of horror)?  You do know what causes that, right? You sure have your hands full!  So annoying, makes me want to hide until I give birth.

A part of me will really miss all the bumps, kicks, hiccups and rolls he's doing in me now.  I think this may be the last one (seriously this time), so I may never get to experience these feelings again.  I'm going to miss that.  I've even been able to feel something new with this one that I don't remember from the others.  I think I've been able to feel him "breathing".  When I'm really still and he's in a certain position, I can feel this fairly fast, rhythmical movement that really reminds me of breathing.  I know he's practicing, but it's strange being able to feel it. 

Either way, time marches on and there's nothing I can do to stop it even if I want to.  We're pretty much ready for his arrival.  I got the diapers and wipes the other day.  The clothes are washed.  The car seat, bouncy seats, swing and toys are all washed.  I even washed the bottles and nipples, though I hope and pray I don't need them.  I've started putting together a diaper bag for him and I guess now I need a list of what to bring to the hospital with me.  Coverage for the boys is lined up and we pretty much have Christmas figured out.  Everything is ordered or bought and should all be here this week.  I think hubby is going to do the wrapping this year, or we'll use the huge supply of gift bags we have :)  I just wish I could get rid of this sneaking suspicion that I've forgotten something...

The little things

Every since I started learning about Catholicism (~2007), I've always thought that God could be found best in the little things in life.  A baby's smile, a flower, the right parking space ;)  Well, you get the idea.  Then I found the saints.  Especially St. Therese de Lisieux.  She's "all about" the little stuff.  So much so, that I picked her to be my patron saint at Confirmation.  Or maybe she picked me...

Today we went to a different parish for Mass, hubby had to be at work early so we needed an earlier Mass.  So St. Therese de Lisieux church it was.  Being that the snowbirds are returning from the north, the churches are getting rather full lately and finding a "good" (non-crowded) seat is getting more difficult.  We ended up grabbing a more crowded pew than I would have liked and made the best of it.

Given that I'm 2 weeks (!!!!) away from my due date, temperature has been an issue lately.  Too warm and I feel like I'm going to pass out.  It was warm in the church today...  But just when I started to get that I'm-going-to-pass-out feeling, on comes the air conditioning.  Somehow I had ended up in the spot that the a/c blows on!  It got me through the rest of Mass fairly comfortably.

It struck me while I was sitting there that it had to be divine providence that put me in that exact spot and the air conditioning to top it all off.  So, the question becomes, was it God "showing off", or St. Therese "showering down blessings".  Either way, thanksgiving was offered up for the wonderful blessing and it reminded me to notice the little things in life.

Pack meeting ~ 10/29/11

They had a great pack meeting tonight.  Each of the dens  had to do a presentation of some kind.

My Bear brought some of his models to show off "show and tell"

My Tiger did a presentation on the food pyramid

Velcro Boy is farthest to the left

The Tigers recently took a trip to tour a fire station.  Cubmaster had a patch ready to present to each of them.

That's me!  One of a very few rare belly shots that anyone has captured.

AAA Choo!

Sorry, everyone!  Just had to blow the dust of my blog.  Sorry for my long absence :(  Things have been crazy busy around here, and yet I have little to show for it.  Very few pictures and a to-do list the length of my arm.  How is it that you can work like crazy and not get anything done???

Well, I guess I *have* been doing something...gestating a baby!  The pregnancy is going great.  Healthy, active, growing baby and a healthy mom.  Three older kids that haven't killed each other or torn the house down and are generally happy and excited about their baby brother.  I guess that is a lot to show for the past several months ;)

The pregnancy has been going well.  All tests are normal, I even passed the glucose screening!  I've been having normal pregnancy "discomforts".  Frequent trips to the bathroom, lower back ache, hip ache, etc.  The biggest complaint this time around would be the nearly excruciating pain near my ribs and the corresponding location on my back.  After a very long discussion with my doctor, we've come to the conclusion that it's adhesions from prior surgery and 3 other c-sections.  Which means that there's nothing wrong.  Which also means that there's nothing he can do :(  I have to muddle through as best I can until Tiny is ready to come out.  This means lots of time resting on my left side (the only position to offer total relief) or sitting with my feet up .  Maybe that's why I'm not getting anything done!

Fortunately I only have 9 weeks and 5 days to go!  We have a c-section scheduled for December 20th, so at least I have an end-point to keep my eye on.  And I have a lot to offer up for the poor souls :)

I have a schooling update to post, hopefully I can get that up soon as well as a scouting update.

It's a ......

BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!

As if you can't tell, I'm over-the-moon happy about this!!!  All along I've thought this little one was a boy.  I already have been blessed with 3 others, what else could it possibly be?!? :)

Some pics...

This a cute little profile...

 His perfect little foot!  You can even count the toes :)  With all of the ultrasounds I've had with each of the boys, this is the first time I've gotten one of these shots!

Adorable little hand...again, you can count the fingers.

The tech almost wasn't able to tell the gender :(  Tiny just wouldn't cooperate, I guess he's just stubborn.  Must run in the family :)  She finally got a great shot of his you-know-what, but I'm going to respect his privacy (he he)

We got to see lots of this little guy.  At one point he even had his hand up behind his head, a familiar trademark of ALL of my guys :) 

Introducing....

Tiny!!!!  We still don't know the gender, nor do we have a name picked out, but we do have a nickname :)  I had an ultrasound last week and thought I would share!

In this one you can see his hand up near his face toward the left and the legs are toward the right.

In about the same position, his hand is toward mid-body.

Back in May, when I was 7 weeks along I had another ultrasound done and forgot to post the pictures.  After this ultrasound we were calling the baby "dot". 

Week 11.5 (ish) check-up

I had my 11/12 week check-up today.   All went well.   Now I get to go have 50 tubes of blood drawn :(   Probably Friday...   Doctor's happy with my progress and on a very positive and totally unexpected note....we were able to hear the baby's heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I really wasn't expecting it for a number of reasons:
1.   It's still early, being only 11 weeks   and 2 days.
2.   We weren't able to get The Professor's or Doodlebug's heartbeats at the 12 week check-up.
3.   Big belly.

But the doctor was persistent, and through some manipulation of my uterus, we were able to briefly hear it.   He didn't hold it for too long (didn't want to hurt me), so no count, but long enough to hear it!

BTW...he's performed several successful forth C-sections lately.

AND...he was happy to hear about the queasiness!   Said it's a sign of a strong pregnancy.  (I didn't really have any with the other pregnancies)

news

As you can tell my the "new" look to the blog, there have been some changes around here.  If you're reading this in your reader, please click over to the blog.

We just found out that we're expecting baby #4!!!!!  We're a bit surprised (not really), and totally thrilled.  The real surprise is the due date.  Christmas Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Since this will be (another) C-section, it will most likely be a few days before Christmas, but still!  I remember being pregnant with Doodlebug at Christmas (about a month before he was born) and feeling such a kinship with Our Blessed Mother.  I can only imagine what it will be like this time.

Good news: no fasting on Good Friday!!!!!  I will abstain though ;)

Please keep me and this little one in your prayers.  Since I'm "getting up there" in maternal age (39 later this year), and the 3 prior C-sections, this one could get tricky later on.

2 Years ago....

2 years ago...The crib upstairs was empty.
Today the boy that sleeps in it looks like he's outgrowing it.

2 years ago...the hands that belong to the tiny handprints on the wall were still inside me.
Today those hands hold crayons, tinkertoys and love to give hugs to mommy.

2 years ago...I had no idea that I was about to experience *the* most difficult month of my life.
Today I look back to how very fast those days passed.

2 years ago...my belly was very full, but my arms were relatively empty.
Today my arms, and my heart, are very full.

2 years ago...I was contemplating how much happens in the span of 9 months.
Today I'm contemplating how very much has happened in the past two years.

Happy birthday Doodlebug...you are so loved!

Mary did you know?

Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?

Did you know
That your baby boy has come to make you new?

This child that you've delivered
 Will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will calm a storm with His hand?

Did you know
That your baby boy has walked where angels trod?

And when you kiss your little baby
You've kissed the face of God.

The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb

Mary, did you know
That your baby boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will one day rule the nations?

Did you know
That your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?

This sleeping child you're holding is the Great I Am.

 Lyrics written by Mark  Lowry

This song has been weighing heavily on my mind the last few years.  Being pregnant at Christmas time, I felt a close kinship to Mary.  Christmas, 2 years ago, I was 8 months pregnant with our third boy (doodlebug).  I was big.  I was uncomfortable.  And I was scared.  Much as I think Mary may have been around that same time roughly 2000 years ago.  I imagine that getting ready for that trip to Bethlehem, so very far along in her pregnancy was quite scary.  I also imagine that she did her best to try to turn those anxieties over to God.  Much as I was learning to do that year.  Being new to the faith, I was still floundering around and getting my footing.  I felt very unsure of myself.  In many ways.  Not just the faith, but in parenting 3 kids.  

• What had we done???  
• Would the Lord provide the means to support our family?  
• Would I be able to get through the day, dealing with the demands of the kids and still come out with my sanity?  
• What would this one be like? 

These were all questions that kept going through my mind a hundred times a day.  I was desperately trying to turn over my anxieties and "Trust in the Lord with all your (my) heart".  And for the most part it worked.


I often wonder(ed) how much Mary knew about that miraculous baby she was carrying.  Did she know it was the Son of God?  Or did she just think that God had put a "normal" baby in her?  How much of the Scriptures did she know?  Did Mary connect the prophesies with her and her baby?  Did she remember the writings about His death?  Did any of these things occur to her before she said that single word?  "Yes".  So much was carried in that one little. tiny. word.  Did Mary know what she was getting herself into?  I know I didn't.


As I'm sure she did, I've learned a lot about God's strength and that it's there for us.  Just for the asking.  How incredibly amazing is that???


You see, I'm a fairly recent convert to the Catholic faith.  During 2006, thanks to my brother-in-law's influence, we started listening to Dave Ramsey, a Christian financial counselor.  A lot of his precepts are based on Scripture and he often quotes various passages.  I guess the Holy Spirit was using Dave's show to lead me to Him.   Around September '06, I started feeling like there was something missing in my life.  I was working part-time, had 2 beautiful healthy kids and a husband that worked all the time.  I figured maybe the kids needed some organized structure in their days, a class or regular play date or something.  We were considering home schooling at the time so I figured maybe we should give it a try and see.  Well, that wasn't it.

Then I figured that maybe I needed something for myself.  A class or something.  Couldn't really find anything I liked, could afford and could fit into our schedule.  So I kept floundering.

Then came Thanksgiving of that year.  As my mother-in-law said the blessing, a ton of bricks fell on my head.  Not literally of course, but that was how it felt.  I could barely breathe.  That something missing.  That hole in my life.  That sense of incompleteness.  God.  God was what was missing from my life.  Once I formed the thought in my head, once I said the thought to myself, I could breathe and the weight I had been carrying around was lifted.  Now, how to go about filling in the hole ;)

At the time, my tradition was to set out Thanksgiving night and set-up the tree.  The following weekend was an all-out frenzy to get the house decorated for Christmas.  And that year was no different.  However, once the decorations were up it struck me that maybe, just maybe, this year should be a bit different.  Seeing as how I had just found God and all that.  So after pondering where to start, I decided to ask my sister-in-law for some advise.  I told her I was looking for some good kids books to introduce the real reason we have Christmas.  I wasn't ready to "come out" about my developing conversion yet.  I'm sure she about fell out of her chair when she read my email though.

So I spent the "Christmas season" (Advent) learning about God and His wonderful Son.  I got a bible, daily email devotions, read some books.  Keep in mind I told NOONE about this, not even hubby (who was raised Catholic and left the Church when he was 18.  He was away from the Church for ~18 years and was away at this time).  I was really liking what I was reading/learning and I had developed a bit of a prayer life.  I thought "hey, this is pretty neat!  Should I find a church?"  I had never understood the purpose of organized religion.  Why should you have to go to a certain place to talk to God?  Isn't He supposed to be everywhere???  So, no, I didn't feel that I needed to find a church.  I had found God, and that was enough for now, thank you very much.

Shortly after the New Year (2007), hubby and I talked and we found we were both in the same place.  I was open to God.  Listening to Dave had led him to become open again.  And he was ready to go back to Church.  He asked if I was, "no".  He asked if I minded him asking around about  local Catholic churches and him going.  "I don't mind" I told him.  So he asked around, and he went by himself one Sunday.  He asked me later that day if we could go as a family next Sunday.  I said I would think about it, but I didn't think so.  Come Saturday night I ask him what time we're going to church on Sunday.  He couldn't have been happier.

That first Mass was so awkward.  Velcro Boy had hurt his foot, and I spent the whole Mass trying to keep he and The Professor quiet.  All I heard was "In the name of" and "the Mass has ended..." (and lovelier words they couldn't have been at the time).  However, with all that I was willing to go again.  And then I was hooked.  It just felt so much like the right place to be, and it still does.  Now that I've been in several different churches, I've realized it's not the building, nor the congregation that makes it feel that way.  It's my Father's house, and that's where I belong.

Fast forward a bit (OK, a lot), we had the kids baptized, attended Mass regularly and I joined RCIA (October 2007).  Doodlebug was born Jan 2008 and I was received into the Church at the Easter vigil March 22, 2008.  He was baptized the following Sunday.  Ironically enough, all of our kids were baptized on Divine Mercy Sunday.